I didn’t know you were aware of my sins
I don’t need your help, I can toy with my own emotions
I’m leaving soon. I’m going out on a road trip that’ll take me months. My hope is to go around, meet new people and to see new places…
yada yada yada
But it dawned on me tonight. After I spoke with someone, a friend and someone I admire, that I think the real reason I’m going on this trip…is because I’m running away.
I want to run away from here. From the friends I’m blessed to have, from the family I’m thankful for, and from the one’s I love because it scares me how little I am. More importantly, I feel how inadequate I am. How I always miss the mark and fall short.
I know I can be a better person for my friends, family and loved ones. I know I can be better to myself. And so I’m running away from the that’s selfish, that’s self-centered, and inconsiderate. I’m running from the me that has failed everyone for so long. I’m going to go around, and spend time away, trying to learn how to be better.
I think everyone should try this at one point in their life.
Try to make a journey for yourself, but also for the one’s you wish to be better for.
I think the cause of all of the bullshit in this world, all of the intolerance, the fighting, the [often willful] ignorance, the aggression, and pathetic delusion is because everyone is ignoring the elephant in the room. We all think about it from time to time, and we all let it scare ourselves into a good laconic silence…but to be honest I don’t think any of us give ‘it’ any credence (look it up). Religious or not, most seek to diminish it by accepting an afterlife, and other seek to disregard it completely, when in actuality it’s the only thing that could possibly bring us all together for it is the only thing we all have in common.
We’re all going to die…
We are all mortal and we’re all struggling to find meaning in this life before we ultimately leave it. But what is more important is to understand that there is a very good chance (whether it’s probable or not) that there will be nothing to validate us in the end. Everyone is trying to find intrinsic value that’s tucked under a relic or hidden between the lines in the passage of an old tome, when the responsibility is up to them to admit that value can only be assigned by the rational thinker. When that happens, when we let go of doctrine and dogma, when we let go of existential boundaries and understand that we’re dying; when we understand that it’s okay to see ourselves as minimal and wrong in out 1st person perspective, we’ll see that race, sexuality, and religion don’t matter.
Nothing matters except for the life that’s been dealt out. Beyond that, nothing else is right or wrong. Let’s learn to celebrate life and worry about our opinions less. Chances are we’re wrong, and more chances will show that it’s likely that none of that shit matters anyway. We should all just shut up, and admit that we’re here for a little bit and then nothing happens. No hell to fall into and no God to save us from our own responsibilites as rational thinking humans. NO God is going to forgive you for your sins, only you can do that.
I’m rambling, but a think a nihilist has to do that every once in a while.
I would love this as a tattoo for some reason o.o
I would get this…is that weird?
a tabletop rpg mix i made, sort of a sequel to another one that wasn’t very good in the first place
i. icarus- bastille // ii. holiday- the american idiot obc cast // iii. radioactive in the dark- fall out boy & imagine dragons (mashup) // iv. lake pontchartrain- ludo // v. unfinished business- mumford & sons // vi. outlaw blues- pat benatar // vii. na na na (na na na na na na na na na)- my chemical romance // viii. just one yesterday (ft foxes)- fall out boy // ix. golden- fall out boy
It’s not that you’re holding someone, instead you’re holding onto someone. The joy of wrapping your arms around someone is that it reminds you that they’re there, that you’re not dreaming. It also helps you believe that you’re real and that you’re not a dream. Human contact is it’s own reality, and the more intimate it is, the more real you feel.
I gotta tell her that I love her. I know it won’t work and that life sometimes hands you a loss. But I know that I have to dive in, that I still have to take a shot.
Look at it this way…once the guillotine drops, I’ll be a freed man.